++ GUIDES :: COUPLING SERIES ONE++

 

 

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:: PATRICK ::

 

What does Ben have to say about his character?

"He’s permanently fifteen, as most of the men in the series are, and I can sort of identify with that, with sex being permanently on the brain, that’s the way you relate to the world at that age. But as far as all the baggage is concerned, Patrick would tell you to leave it in the hall, take it with you when you go. He doesn’t have any baggage as he doesn’t have anything to put in it. There’s just air between his ears and hugeness between his legs – I’m described as a tripod in the series. I can relate to that..." - BBC press kit

 

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:: EPISODE DESCRIPTIONS::

 

 

 

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:: QUOTE/UNQUOTE ::

 

FLUSHED

 

Sally: "So, back on your own again, eh? Back out there."
Patrick: "You're smiling at me. I don't think I've ever seen that!"
Sally: "You're a single man now, you qualify for my elasticity."
Patrick:"Is that as good as it sounds?"

 

Susan(talking about her breasts): "I wasn't aware you'd assessed them individually!"
Patrick: "You were asleep, I was bored!"
Susan: "What's wrong with the left one?"
Patrick: "Oh don't be like that. There has to be a second place!"

 

SIZE MATTERS

 

Sally: "A motor show?"
Patrick: "Yes. I thought we could go together. You like cars right? Everybody likes cars."
Sally: "Would this be a date?"
Patrick: "I'm sorry?"
Sally: "I'd love to go Patrick, but strictly as your friend"
Patrick: "What do you mean 'friend' exactly?"
Sally: "I wouldn't be your date, I'd be your friend"
Patrick: "No, still not with you."
Sally: "Ok, let's take this slowly. What do you call someone you go out with but your don't try to sleep with?"
Patrick: "Men?"
Sally: "Now, since I'm only a friend date, do you want to take this ticket back and get an upgrade?"
Patrick: "Hey, no! We can go as this 'friends' thing."
Sally: "I'm never going to sleep with you Patrick, ever, ever, ever!"
Patrick(takes ticket back): "Ok!"

 

SEX, DEATH AND NUDITY

 

Susan: "I'm asking you a favour and sex isn't involved"
Patrick: "And you're admitting that up front, see where you're going wrong?"

 

Susan: "Does your dick do all the thinking?"
Patrick: "I don't know, I'll ask it."

 

Patrick (trying to persuade Sally to go with him to the funeral): "There's going to be a lot of old people there, you'd be the most moist."

 

INFERNO

 

Jeff: "New haircut? "
Patrick: "Yeah, I've got a lot of big meetings coming up. Wanted the hard man look."
Steve: "Isn't it a bit, um.."
Patrick: "What?"
Jeff: "Gay?"
Patrick: "This is not a gay cut! This is a hard man cut!"

 

Steve: "What specifically did you tell your hairdresser?"
Patrick: "I said I wanted a hard man."

 

Patrick (to Steve): "I can't believe you said you loved her! She wasn't even naked!"

 

Patrick: "I like films with lesbians in them cos it's nice to think that there are attractive women out there who can't find a boyfriend."
Steve: "No, Patrick, they're lesbians"
Patrick: "That's what I said!"

 

THE GIRL WITH TWO BREASTS

 

Jeff: "I see women as people in their own right"
Patrick: "In many ways, they are."

 

Patrick: "Wobble wars "
Steve: "What?"
Patrick: "Wobble wars! The title for the new porn film about battling breast brains! "
Steve: "In the event of a mind ray alert, stand next to Patrick."

 

Patrick: "The girl with two brains."
Steve: "3 brains, Patrick"
Patrick: "Oh yeah! Forgot about that one!"

 

THE CUPBOARD OF PATRICK'S LOVE

 

Jane: "Why do you never come and talk to me, Patrick?"
Patrick: "Well, I've never really had to. There's always been blokes around."

 

Jane: "What do you do when you're unhappy, Patrick?"
Patrick : "It's never really come up."
Jane: "What do you do when you really need someone?"
Patrick: "Pull."

 

Jane: "Why do you have so many videos, and why have they all got girls names on them?"
Patrick: "Well, if I tape a film like Basic Instinct say, and I don't want to forget which tape the film is on, I give the tape a name like Paula or Astrid"
Jane: "Do you think I'm a complete idiot Patrick?"
Patrick: "Well, I hadn't really thought about it!"

 

Sally: "You really don't have enough blood for both ends of your body do you Patrick?"
Patrick: "And that's a guarantee!"

 

 

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